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OCTOBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
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Despite his shy ways, Ulysses was
always hungry for warmth and companionship. It was early
October, 1843, when Ulysses first found his way out to White
Haven on horseback.
White Haven was in the throes of a brilliant
autumn. As Ulysses approached the sprawling estate, trees swayed
and sighed all around him, shimmering with their sensual shades
of fall, groaning beneath the weight of juicy, golden apples
that tempted him to linger and take a bite. Jewel colored leaves
rained down upon him like confetti hailing a hero, and decorated
his path to the Dents’ door.
At White Haven, the old year, 1843, was passing
away with the falling leaves. Their world was slowly passing
away, as well. With the arrival of Ulysses S. Grant, it would
never be the same again.
Julia’s little sister, Emmy, never forgot seeing
Ulysses invade White Haven for the first time.
As Ulysses approached White Haven for his maiden
visit, Emmy was collecting birds’ nests with the slave girls.
She heard someone approaching on horseback. Lieutenant Ulysses
came into view, dressed in his uniform. He gazed down at Emmy
with his translucent blue eyes.
“How do you do, little girl. Does Mr. Dent live
here?” he asked Emmy. Emmy could only stare up at him in awe.
“Why, he’s as pretty as a doll!” she gasped to
herself.
At home in Ohio,
Ulysses had tried and failed to make an impression on the girls
in his uniform. Now, he was succeeding without even trying.
His cheeks, Emmy noted, were round and plump and
rosy. His hair was “fine and brown, very thick and wavy; his
eyes were “a clear blue and full of light.” He was “slender and
well-formed” and whenever he moved, Emmy thought he was
graceful.
Yes, Ulysses was handsome in a frail, haunting
sort of way. He still suffered from a desperate cough he
acquired at West Point called Tyler’s Grip,” which left him painfully thin. Yet, combined with his
sensitive, vulnerable aura, there was also the manly bearing of a soldier.
“He looked like a little prince,” Emmy recalled.
But something else lit the shy lieutenant’s
presence which was irresistible to the women of White Haven—a
quality which made him the most compelling male to ever cross
their threshold.
He needed loving, bad.
Julia was still staying with friends in St.
Louis, but all the other women at White Haven fell instantly in
love. Mrs. Dent offered elixirs to cure his cough, and Julia’s
sisters, seven year old Emmy and fifteen year old Nelly, giggled
and flirted and bickered over which one of the two would have
him. Ulysses visited twice a week, and thoroughly enjoyed the
female attention. Of course, the girls were way too young for
him, but it was fun and harmless to play with them.
And then, Miss Julia came home.
And after their first meeting, Ulysses came over
everyday.
In my book, I analyze in detail all of Lieutenant
Ulysses’ love letters to Miss Julia. Here are some of my
favorites, written to Miss Julia from various lonely army camps
in the month of October. I left in all of Ulysses’ original
misspellings. There is, to me, something so poignant about them.
Corpus Christi Texas
(Oct., 1845)
“Now my Dear Julia that a prospect is ahead for some
perminancy in my situation dont you think it time for us to
begin to settle upon some plan for consumating what we believe
is for our mutual happiness? After an engagement of sixteen or
seventeen months ought we not to think of bringing that
engagement to an end, in the way that all true and constant
lovers should?
“...you Julia would be contented knowing how much and how
dearly devoted I am to you...”
Camp Near Monteray Mex.
Oct. 3d 1846
“What made you ask me the question
Dearest Julia “if I thought absence could conquer love”? You
ought to be just as good a judge as me! I can only answer for
myself alone, that Julia is as to me to-day as she was the day we visited St.
Louis together, more
than two years ago, when I first told her of my love. From that
day to this I have loved you constantly and the same and with
the hope too that long before this time I would have been able
to call you Wife
Camp Near Monteray Mex.
Oct. 20th1846
“This is the most beautiful spot
that it has been my fortune to see in this world, but without
you dearest a
Paradice would become lonesom.” |
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NOVEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
It is heartbreaking to read
of Ulysses’ desperate desire for letters, and Julia’s frequent lack of
response. Knowing how badly he wanted to hear from her, why didn’t she
write more often?
For one
thing, while the lonely Ulysses was longing for love letters in his
rugged army camp, Julia was being serenaded under her window by gallant
Southern dandies.
In her
memoirs, Julia recalls, “It was customary fifty years ago in St. Louis
for the sterner sex to make sweet music at the midnight hour beneath the
window of their dulcineas, and dear old Mr. C., Mr. K., Mr. M., and
Judge S. used to tell us that it was impossible for them to get rest
enough as our serenades were continuous. We would ask these gentlemen
what we could do, we cannot help it, and besides it is so pleasant to
have a half-dozen nice, handsome, manly young fellows beneath one’s
window pouring out their very souls in song, and hear:
“Thou
art fair as any flower, Lady mine, Lady mine, Thou art silver to the
sheen, Thou art moonlight to the beam” or “Good night, good night,
dearest” accompanied by two or more lutes or guitars. What could we do?”
It would
be entirely natural for pampered Southern belle Julia to be having
second thoughts about marriage to a poor Yankee soldier, with this life
of carefree ease being laid at her feet every night. The serenading
Southern dandies were as seductive as a sultry night in St. Louis, the
scent of honeysuckle wafting through the open shutters along with their
sweet songs.
Teenage
Julia could stay happily on at White Haven, then marry any man of
property in the county and live like a Queen, waited on by slaves for
the rest of her life.
And yet,
her heart still pined for Lieutenant Grant. His slender arms trembling
as he held her. His love-lit blue eyes that looked straight into her
soul. She often went weeks without writing him, then suddenly wrote
again, ardently assuring him of her love.
Something about this young man haunted her.
Corpus Christi
Texas
Nov. 11th
1845
“I was gratified
this morning with recieving a letter from you which was the first for
two months. You dont know how disappointed I have always been for the
last month when I go to the Post Office and find no letter from my
Dear Dear Julia.”
Corpus Christi
Texas
(Nov.-Dec., 1845)
“I was so much in
hopes that I would have a letter from you that I could scarsely bear to
leave the office without one...”
“The subject
spoken of as being ever upermost, is my love for my Dear
Julia, and the consequence (matrimony) of a love so pure.”
Camp Near
Monteray Mexico
November 7th
1846
“I got one of the
sweetest letters from you a few days ago that I have had for a long time
and the least I can do in return is to write to you at least three pages
in, return; even if I have nothing more to write than that I love you,
and how very much.”
“How happy I
should be if I knew that but a very few more letters were to pass
between my Dearest Julia and myself, -- as mere lovers,
--that is to say, how happy I should be if soon Julia was to become mine
forever.”
“You say in your
letter that you wish it was our country that was being invaded instead
of Mexico, that you would ask for quarters but doubted if Mr. Grant
would grant them. Indeed dearest I am one of the most humane
individuals you are acquainted with, and not only would I give quarters
to any one who implores them; but if Julia says she will surrender
herself my prisoner I will take the first opportunity of making an
excursion to Mo. But you must not expect your parole like other
prisoners of war for I expect to be the Sentinel that guards you
myself.”
Lieutenant Ulysses actually speaks of Julia’s surrender in the above
letter! He dreamed of a surrender that would taste sweeter than any
military victory.
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DECEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
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Christmas is often a time to sit back in the secure comforts of one’s
home, to reflect on the good fortunes of the past year and enjoy its
bounty, to look ahead to the future with hope of more good times to
come. For Ulysses S. Grant, the Christmas of 1857 provided neither.
Looking back at the past was painful, looking ahead, even more
frightening.
Poverty-stricken, with a new baby on the way, Ulysses was forced to pawn
one of his few possessions remaining, a gold pocket watch, to buy
Christmas presents for his family. With his pregnant wife’s due-date
fast arriving, Ulysses wanted Julia to have a happy Christmas.
The pawn broker
never revealed the pawn ticket of his famous customer, until after
Ulysses became president. The pawn broker was hesitant to go public with
the pawn ticket for fear of offending the Grants, revealing one of
Ulysses’ lowest moments. In fact, it was one of his finest moments.
Nothing could reveal so poignantly his tender feelings for his family.
It is so sad! This
pawn ticket of Ulysses is dated December 23, two days before Christmas.
The pawnbroker’s son, who sold this ticket after Ulysses won the Civil
War, fears it might shame Ulysses’ family. On the contrary, it shows his
soft heart. It is also poignant to see Ulysses only gets one month to
try to come up with the money to buy his watch back. I wonder if he did?
Pawn Ticket
St. Louis, Dec
23rd 1857
I THIS DAY CONSIGN TO J.S.
FRELIGH, AT MY OWN RISK FROM LOSS OR DAMAGE BY THIEVES OR FIRE, TO SELL
ON COMMISSION, PRICE NOT LIMITED, 1 GOLD HUNTING (WATCH) DETACHED LEVER
& GOLD CHAIN ON WHICH SAID FRELIGH HAS ADVANCED TWENTY TWO DOLLARS. AND
I HEREBY FULLY AUTHORIZE AND EMPOWER SAID FRELIGH TO SELL AT PUBLIC OR
PRIVATE SALE THE ABOVE MENTIONED PROPERTY TO PAY SAID ADVANCE—IF THE
SAME IS NOT PAID TO SAID FRELIGH, OR THESE CONDITIONS RENEWED BY PAYING
CHARGES, ON OR BEFORE JAN/58
U.S. Grant
Three
years later, an impoverished Ulysses had given up on making a living in St.
Louis. Admitting to himself that he had failed at farming and selling
real estate, must have been difficult. But he now had a wife and four
children to feed, so he humbly took a job in his father’s leather goods
store, in Galena, Illinois.
Ulysses’
new job involved traveling to towns like La
Crosse, Wisconsin
and Decora, Iowa,
representing his father’s leather business. On New Year’s Eve, 1860,
Ulysses was far from home, once more, thinking of Julia, their family,
and home. I love this quote, written on a snowy evening, to his beloved
Julia:
Decora Iowa
Dec. 31st/60
“Tomorrow will be New Years
day. I wish you all a happy New Year and wish I was at home with you.” |
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