OCT - DEC

OCTOBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

Despite his shy ways, Ulysses was always hungry for warmth and companionship. It was early October, 1843, when Ulysses first found his way out to White Haven on horseback.

White Haven was in the throes of a brilliant autumn. As Ulysses approached the sprawling estate, trees swayed and sighed all around him, shimmering with their sensual shades of fall, groaning beneath the weight of juicy, golden apples that tempted him to linger and take a bite. Jewel colored leaves rained down upon him like confetti hailing a hero, and decorated his path to the Dents’ door.

At White Haven, the old year, 1843, was passing away with the falling leaves. Their world was slowly passing away, as well. With the arrival of Ulysses S. Grant, it would never be the same again.

Julia’s little sister, Emmy, never forgot seeing Ulysses invade White Haven for the first time.

As Ulysses approached White Haven for his maiden visit, Emmy was collecting birds’ nests with the slave girls. She heard someone approaching on horseback. Lieutenant Ulysses came into view, dressed in his uniform. He gazed down at Emmy with his translucent blue eyes.

“How do you do, little girl. Does Mr. Dent live here?” he asked Emmy. Emmy could only stare up at him in awe.

“Why, he’s as pretty as a doll!” she gasped to herself.

At home in Ohio, Ulysses had tried and failed to make an impression on the girls with his uniform. Now, he was succeeding without even trying.

His cheeks, Emmy noted, were round and plump and rosy. His hair was “fine and brown, very thick and wavy; his eyes were “a clear blue and full of light.” He was “slender and well-formed” and whenever he moved, Emmy thought he was graceful.

Yes, Ulysses was handsome in a frail, haunting sort of way. He still suffered from a desperate cough he acquired at West Point called “Tyler’s Grip,” which left him painfully thin. Yet, combined with his sensitive, vulnerable aura, there was also the manly bearing of a soldier.

“He looked like a little prince,” Emmy recalled.

But something else lit the shy lieutenant’s presence which was irresistible to the women of White Haven—a quality which made him the most compelling male to ever cross their threshold.

He needed loving, bad.

Julia was still staying with friends in St. Louis, but all the other women at White Haven fell instantly in love. Mrs. Dent offered elixirs to cure his cough, and Julia’s sisters, seven year old Emmy and fifteen year old Nelly, giggled and flirted and bickered over which one of the two would have him. Ulysses visited twice a week, and thoroughly enjoyed the female attention. Of course, the girls were way too young for him, but it was fun and harmless to play with them.

And then, Miss Julia came home.

And after their first meeting, Ulysses came over everyday.

In my book, I analyze in detail all of Lieutenant Ulysses’ love letters to Miss Julia. Here are some of my favorites, written to Miss Julia from various lonely army camps in the month of October. I left in all of Ulysses’ original misspellings. There is, to me, something so poignant about them.

Corpus Christi Texas

(Oct., 1845)

“Now my Dear Julia that a prospect is ahead for some perminancy in my situation dont you think it time for us to begin to settle upon some plan for consumating what we believe is for our mutual happiness? After an engagement of sixteen or seventeen months ought we not to think of bringing that engagement to an end, in the way that all true and constant lovers should?

“...you Julia would be contented knowing how much and how dearly devoted I am to you...”

Camp Near Monteray Mex.

Oct. 3d 1846

“What made you ask me the question Dearest Julia “if I thought absence could conquer love”? You ought to be just as good a judge as me! I can only answer for myself alone, that Julia is as dear to me to-day as she was the day we visited St. Louis together, more than two years ago, when I first told her of my love. From that day to this I have loved you constantly and the same and with the hope too that long before this time I would have been able to call you Wife.”

Camp Near Monteray Mex.

Oct. 20^th1846

“This is the most beautiful spot that it has been my fortune to see in this world, but without you dearest a Paradice would become lonesom.”

NOVEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

It is heartbreaking to read of Ulysses’ desperate desire for letters, and Julia’s frequent lack of response. Knowing how badly he wanted to hear from her, why didn’t she write more often?

For one thing, while the lonely Ulysses was longing for love letters in his rugged army camp, Julia was being serenaded under her window by gallant Southern dandies.

In her memoirs, Julia recalls, “It was customary fifty years ago in St. Louis for the sterner sex to make sweet music at the midnight hour beneath the window of their dulcineas, and dear old Mr. C., Mr. K., Mr. M., and Judge S. used to tell us that it was impossible for them to get rest enough as our serenades were continuous. We would ask these gentlemen what we could do, we cannot help it, and besides it is so pleasant to have a half-dozen nice, handsome, manly young fellows beneath one’s window pouring out their very souls in song, and hear:

“Thou art fair as any flower, Lady mine, Lady mine, Thou art silver to the sheen, Thou art moonlight to the beam” or “Good night, good night, dearest” accompanied by two or more lutes or guitars. What could we do?”

It would be entirely natural for pampered Southern belle Julia to be having second thoughts about marriage to a poor Yankee soldier, with this life of carefree ease being laid at her feet every night. The serenading Southern dandies were as seductive as a sultry night in St. Louis, the scent of honeysuckle wafting through the open shutters along with their sweet songs.

Teenage Julia could stay happily on at White Haven, then marry any man of property in the county and live like a Queen, waited on by slaves for the rest of her life.

And yet, her heart still pined for Lieutenant Grant. His slender arms trembling as he held her. His love-lit blue eyes that looked straight into her soul. She often went weeks without writing him, then suddenly wrote again, ardently assuring him of her love.

Something about this young man haunted her.

Corpus Christi Texas

Nov. 11^th 1845

“I was gratified this morning with recieving a letter from you which was the first for two months. You dont know how disappointed I have always been for the last month when I go to the Post Office and find no letter from my Dear Dear Julia.”

Corpus Christi Texas

(Nov.-Dec., 1845)

“I was so much in hopes that I would have a letter from you that I could scarsely bear to leave the office without one...”

“The subject spoken of as being ever upermost, is my love for my Dear Julia, and the consequence (matrimony) of a love so pure.”

Camp Near Monteray Mexico

November 7^th1846

“I got one of the sweetest letters from you a few days ago that I have had for a long time and the least I can do in return is to write to you at least three pages in, return; even if I have nothing more to write than that I love you, and how very much.”

“How happy I should be if I knew that but a very few more letters were to pass between my Dearest Julia and myself, -- as mere lovers, --that is to say, how happy I should be if soon Julia was to become mine forever.”

“You say in your letter that you wish it was our country that was being invaded instead of Mexico, that you would ask for quarters but doubted if Mr. Grant would grant them. Indeed dearest I am one of the most humane individuals you are acquainted with, and not only would I give quarters to any one who implores them; but if Julia says she will surrender herself my prisoner I will take the first opportunity of making an excursion to Mo. But you must not expect your parole like other prisoners of war for I expect to be the Sentinel that guards you myself.”

Lieutenant Ulysses actually speaks of Julia’s surrender in the above letter! He dreamed of a surrender that would taste sweeter than any military victory.

DECEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES

Christmas is often a time to sit back in the secure comforts of one’s home, to reflect on the good fortunes of the past year and enjoy its bounty, to look ahead to the future with hope of more good times to come. For Ulysses S. Grant, the Christmas of 1857 provided neither. Looking back at the past was painful, looking ahead, even more frightening.

Poverty-stricken, with a new baby on the way, Ulysses was forced to pawn one of his few possessions remaining, a gold pocket watch, to buy Christmas presents for his family. With his pregnant wife’s due-date fast arriving, Ulysses wanted Julia to have a happy Christmas.

The pawn broker never revealed the pawn ticket of his famous customer, until after Ulysses became president. The pawn broker was hesitant to go public with the pawn ticket for fear of offending the Grants, revealing one of Ulysses’ lowest moments. In fact, it was one of his finest moments. Nothing could reveal so poignantly his tender feelings for his family.

It is so sad! This pawn ticket of Ulysses is dated December 23, two days before Christmas. The pawnbroker’s son, who sold this ticket after Ulysses won the Civil War, fears it might shame Ulysses’ family. On the contrary, it shows his soft heart. It is also poignant to see Ulysses only gets one month to try to come up with the money to buy his watch back. I wonder if he did?

Pawn Ticket

St. Louis, Dec 23rd 1857

I THIS DAY CONSIGN TO J.S. FRELIGH, AT MY OWN RISK FROM LOSS OR DAMAGE BY THIEVES OR FIRE, TO SELL ON COMMISSION, PRICE NOT LIMITED, 1 GOLD HUNTING (WATCH) DETACHED LEVER & GOLD CHAIN ON WHICH SAID FRELIGH HAS ADVANCED TWENTY TWO DOLLARS. AND I HEREBY FULLY AUTHORIZE AND EMPOWER SAID FRELIGH TO SELL AT PUBLIC OR PRIVATE SALE THE ABOVE MENTIONED PROPERTY TO PAY SAID ADVANCE—IF THE SAME IS NOT PAID TO SAID FRELIGH, OR THESE CONDITIONS RENEWED BY PAYING CHARGES, ON OR BEFORE JAN/58

U.S. Grant

Three years later, an impoverished Ulysses had given up on making a living in St. Louis. Admitting to himself that he had failed at farming and selling real estate, must have been difficult. But he now had a wife and four children to feed, so he humbly took a job in his father’s leather goods store, in Galena, Illinois.

Ulysses’ new job involved traveling to towns like La Crosse, Wisconsin and Decora, Iowa, representing his father’s leather business. On New Year’s Eve, 1860, Ulysses was far from home, once more, thinking of Julia, their family, and home. I love this quote, written on a snowy evening, to his beloved Julia:

Decora Iowa

Dec. 31^st/60

“Tomorrow will be New Years day. I wish you all a happy New Year and wish I was at home with you.”

Coincidentally, I am typing this on New Years Eve, 2009! I wish you all a Happy New Year, and I hope that you will enjoy the beautiful letters written by Ulysses to Julia, over 150 years ago.

His thoughts on New Years Eve, 1860, reveal his homey side. His homelife with Julia and their children was always a joy to him, no matter how simple and humble. At the end of his letter, he tells her to wait patiently “for Ulyss,” then tells her, “This will be my last letter.” He surely meant it would be his last letter written from the road on this particular trip, but by coincidence, it also happened to be the last letter he would write to Julia, prior to the start of the Civil War.

December 31, 1860, was New Years Eve, but also the eve of the Civil War, and an astonishing turn of events for the impoverished leather salesman whose loving wife called him, “Ulyss.”