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OCTOBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
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Despite his shy ways, Ulysses was always hungry for
warmth and companionship. It was early October, 1843, when
Ulysses first found his way out to White Haven on horseback.
White Haven was in the throes of a
brilliant autumn. As Ulysses approached the sprawling estate,
trees swayed and sighed all around him, shimmering with their
sensual shades of fall, groaning beneath the weight of juicy,
golden apples that tempted him to linger and take a bite. Jewel
colored leaves rained down upon him like confetti hailing a
hero, and decorated his path to the Dents’ door.
At White Haven, the old year, 1843,
was passing away with the falling leaves. Their world was slowly
passing away, as well. With the arrival of Ulysses S. Grant, it
would never be the same again.
Julia’s little sister, Emmy, never
forgot seeing Ulysses invade White Haven for the first time.
As Ulysses approached White Haven for
his maiden visit, Emmy was collecting birds’ nests with the
slave girls. She heard someone approaching on horseback.
Lieutenant Ulysses came into view, dressed in his uniform. He
gazed down at Emmy with his translucent blue eyes.
“How do you do, little girl. Does Mr.
Dent live here?” he asked Emmy. Emmy could only stare up at him
in awe.
“Why, he’s as pretty as a doll!” she
gasped to herself.
At home in Ohio, Ulysses had tried
and failed to make an impression on the girls with his uniform.
Now, he was succeeding without even trying.
His cheeks, Emmy noted, were round
and plump and rosy. His hair was “fine and brown, very thick and
wavy; his eyes were “a clear blue and full of light.” He was
“slender and well-formed” and whenever he moved, Emmy thought he
was graceful.
Yes, Ulysses was handsome in a frail,
haunting sort of way. He still suffered from a desperate cough
he acquired at West Point called “Tyler’s Grip,” which left him
painfully thin. Yet, combined with his sensitive, vulnerable
aura, there was also the manly bearing of a soldier.
“He looked like a little prince,”
Emmy recalled.
But something else lit the shy
lieutenant’s presence which was irresistible to the women of
White Haven—a quality which made him the most compelling male to
ever cross their threshold.
He needed loving, bad.
Julia was still staying with friends
in St. Louis, but all the other women at White Haven fell
instantly in love. Mrs. Dent offered elixirs to cure his cough,
and Julia’s sisters, seven year old Emmy and fifteen year old
Nelly, giggled and flirted and bickered over which one of the
two would have him. Ulysses visited twice a week, and thoroughly
enjoyed the female attention. Of course, the girls were way too
young for him, but it was fun and harmless to play with them.
And then, Miss Julia came home.
And after their first meeting,
Ulysses came over everyday.
In my book, I analyze in detail all
of Lieutenant Ulysses’ love letters to Miss Julia. Here are some
of my favorites, written to Miss Julia from various lonely army
camps in the month of October. I left in all of Ulysses’
original misspellings. There is, to me, something so poignant
about them.
Corpus Christi Texas
(Oct., 1845)
“Now my Dear Julia that a prospect is ahead
for some perminancy in my situation dont you think it time for
us to begin to settle upon some plan for consumating what we
believe is for our mutual happiness? After an engagement of
sixteen or seventeen months ought we not to think of bringing
that engagement to an end, in the way that all true and constant
lovers should?
“...you Julia would be contented knowing how
much and how dearly devoted I am to you...”
Camp Near Monteray Mex.
Oct. 3d 1846
“What made you ask me the question Dearest
Julia “if I thought absence could conquer love”? You ought to be
just as good a judge as me! I can only answer for myself alone,
that Julia is as dear to me to-day as she was the day we
visited St. Louis together, more than two years ago, when I
first told her of my love. From that day to this I have loved
you constantly and the same and with the hope too that long
before this time I would have been able to call you Wife.”
Camp Near Monteray Mex.
Oct. 20th1846
“This is the most beautiful spot that it has
been my fortune to see in this world, but without you dearest
a Paradice would become lonesom.”
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NOVEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
It is heartbreaking to read of Ulysses’ desperate desire for
letters, and Julia’s frequent lack of response. Knowing how
badly he wanted to hear from her, why didn’t she write more
often?
For one thing, while the
lonely Ulysses was longing for love letters in his rugged army camp,
Julia was being serenaded under her window by gallant Southern dandies.
In her memoirs, Julia
recalls, “It was customary fifty years ago in St. Louis for the sterner
sex to make sweet music at the midnight hour beneath the window of their
dulcineas, and dear old Mr. C., Mr. K., Mr. M., and Judge S. used to
tell us that it was impossible for them to get rest enough as our
serenades were continuous. We would ask these gentlemen what we could
do, we cannot help it, and besides it is so pleasant to have a
half-dozen nice, handsome, manly young fellows beneath one’s window
pouring out their very souls in song, and hear:
“Thou art fair as any flower,
Lady mine, Lady mine, Thou art silver to the sheen, Thou art moonlight
to the beam” or “Good night, good night, dearest” accompanied by two or
more lutes or guitars. What could we do?”
It would be entirely natural
for pampered Southern belle Julia to be having second thoughts about
marriage to a poor Yankee soldier, with this life of carefree ease being
laid at her feet every night. The serenading Southern dandies were as
seductive as a sultry night in St. Louis, the scent of honeysuckle
wafting through the open shutters along with their sweet songs.
Teenage Julia could stay
happily on at White Haven, then marry any man of property in the county
and live like a Queen, waited on by slaves for the rest of her life.
And yet, her heart still
pined for Lieutenant Grant. His slender arms trembling as he held her.
His love-lit blue eyes that looked straight into her soul. She often
went weeks without writing him, then suddenly wrote again, ardently
assuring him of her love.
Something about this young
man haunted her.
Corpus Christi Texas
Nov. 11th 1845
“I was gratified this morning with
recieving a letter from you which was the first for two months. You dont
know how disappointed I have always been for the last month when I go to
the Post Office and find no letter from my Dear Dear
Julia.”
Corpus Christi Texas
(Nov.-Dec., 1845)
“I was so much in hopes that I would
have a letter from you that I could scarsely bear to leave the office
without one...”
“The subject spoken of as being ever
upermost, is my love for my Dear Julia, and the
consequence (matrimony) of a love so pure.”
Camp Near Monteray Mexico
November 7th 1846
“I got one of the sweetest letters
from you a few days ago that I have had for a long time and the least I
can do in return is to write to you at least three pages in, return;
even if I have nothing more to write than that I love you, and how very
much.”
“How happy I should be if I knew that
but a very few more letters were to pass between my Dearest Julia and
myself, -- as mere lovers, --that is to say, how
happy I should be if soon Julia was to become mine forever.”
“You say in your letter that you wish
it was our country that was being invaded instead of Mexico, that you
would ask for quarters but doubted if Mr. Grant would grant them.
Indeed dearest I am one of the most humane individuals you are
acquainted with, and not only would I give quarters to any one who
implores them; but if Julia says she will surrender herself my prisoner
I will take the first opportunity of making an excursion to Mo. But you
must not expect your parole like other prisoners of war for I expect to
be the Sentinel that guards you myself.”
Lieutenant Ulysses actually
speaks of Julia’s surrender in the above letter! He dreamed of a
surrender that would taste sweeter than any military victory.
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DECEMBER WITH JULIA AND ULYSSES |
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Christmas is often a time to sit back in the secure comforts of one’s
home, to reflect on the good fortunes of the past year and enjoy its
bounty, to look ahead to the future with hope of more good times to
come. For Ulysses S. Grant, the Christmas of 1857 provided neither.
Looking back at the past was painful, looking ahead, even more
frightening.
Poverty-stricken, with a new
baby on the way, Ulysses was forced to pawn one of his few possessions
remaining, a gold pocket watch, to buy Christmas presents for his
family. With his pregnant wife’s due-date fast arriving, Ulysses wanted
Julia to have a happy Christmas.
The pawn broker never
revealed the pawn ticket of his famous customer, until after Ulysses
became president. The pawn broker was hesitant to go public with the
pawn ticket for fear of offending the Grants, revealing one of Ulysses’
lowest moments. In fact, it was one of his finest moments. Nothing could
reveal so poignantly his tender feelings for his family.
It is so sad! This pawn
ticket of Ulysses is dated December 23, two days before Christmas. The
pawnbroker’s son, who sold this ticket after Ulysses won the Civil War,
fears it might shame Ulysses’ family. On the contrary, it shows his soft
heart. It is also poignant to see Ulysses only gets one month to try to
come up with the money to buy his watch back. I wonder if he did?
Pawn Ticket
St. Louis, Dec 23rd 1857
I THIS DAY CONSIGN TO J.S.
FRELIGH, AT MY OWN RISK FROM LOSS OR DAMAGE BY THIEVES OR FIRE, TO SELL
ON COMMISSION, PRICE NOT LIMITED, 1 GOLD HUNTING (WATCH) DETACHED LEVER
& GOLD CHAIN ON WHICH SAID FRELIGH HAS ADVANCED TWENTY TWO DOLLARS. AND
I HEREBY FULLY AUTHORIZE AND EMPOWER SAID FRELIGH TO SELL AT PUBLIC OR
PRIVATE SALE THE ABOVE MENTIONED PROPERTY TO PAY SAID ADVANCE—IF THE
SAME IS NOT PAID TO SAID FRELIGH, OR THESE CONDITIONS RENEWED BY PAYING
CHARGES, ON OR BEFORE JAN/58
U.S. Grant
Three years later, an impoverished
Ulysses had given up on making a living in St. Louis. Admitting to
himself that he had failed at farming and selling real estate, must have
been difficult. But he now had a wife and four children to feed, so he
humbly took a job in his father’s leather goods store, in Galena,
Illinois.
Ulysses’ new job involved traveling to
towns like La Crosse, Wisconsin and Decora, Iowa, representing his
father’s leather business. On New Year’s Eve, 1860, Ulysses was far from
home, once more, thinking of Julia, their family, and home. I love this
quote, written on a snowy evening, to his beloved Julia:
Decora Iowa
Dec. 31st/60
“Tomorrow will be New Years day. I
wish you all a happy New Year and wish I was at home with you.”
Coincidentally, I am typing this on New
Years Eve, 2009! I wish you all a Happy New Year, and I hope that you
will enjoy the beautiful letters written by Ulysses to Julia, over 150
years ago.
His thoughts on New Years Eve, 1860,
reveal his homey side. His homelife with Julia and their children was
always a joy to him, no matter how simple and humble. At the end of his
letter, he tells her to wait patiently “for Ulyss,” then tells
her, “This will be my last letter.” He surely meant it would be
his last letter written from the road on this particular trip, but by
coincidence, it also happened to be the last letter he would write to
Julia, prior to the start of the Civil War.
December 31, 1860, was New Years Eve, but
also the eve of the Civil War, and an astonishing turn of events for the
impoverished leather salesman whose loving wife called him, “Ulyss.” |
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